Stifle me

You stifle my senses, my being, my thoughts, my art.

Your overwhelming need to love me, and protect me. 

Your touch is all I need to forget; forget the world, forget myself. I lose myself to you.

My words falter, my tongue is tied, my heart aches to scream the words that want to escape my lungs.

Sacrifices must be made to keep the special bond between us unbroken. Sacrifices from me. 

Official.

April 1st.

I love the time we spend together. Holding hands down the street. Cuddling throughout a movie.
I'm glad you enjoy being in my presence as much as I enjoy being in yours.
I don't want to hasten what we have together, but my mind can't help but race.

What's stopping us from being 'official'? Oh, how I hate that term in this context. For what defines officiality? We've met each other's friends. We spend many nights and morning in each other's arms. We;re constantly in each other's thoughts.

So what is stopping us? Are we still building trust? I trust easy. That is just how I am. How long must I wait for you to trust me? What can I do to solidify this status? You once said 'We're a team. We work on our problems together.' If this is so, then why do I feel alone in the sentiment?


__

D and I are together. Officially.

My walls.

March 31.

How is it that you've infected me so easily? My thoughts, my dreams.

The walls I've built; I was certain they would keep you at bay until I was ready. And yet with your touch, your breath on the back of my neck, the walls whither and crumble. You walk right into my space unfazed by what you've just done.

You've done this to me, but I don't know what affect I have on you.
Do thoughts of me or us ever linger?
Have I been welcome to roam the vastness of your thoughts?

Maybe love?

March 30.

When situations don't go out way or how we've planned, I know we'll do fine.
The messes I get you into, we work through it hand in hand. You smile at me and I feel like everything will be alright.
It feels great to with you.
Although, I can't seem to breathe at time because my heart is always skipping beats.
I fall over my own words even before they leave my mouth. I fall over my own two feet and forget where I've placed my hands.

I must have fallen hard.
Dove right into you.
Maybe fallen in love?

Not love, right?

March 27.

With a permanent smile on my face that only you can give, it's easy to see why many think I love you.
It's true; I've never been this happy. Never fallen this fast. Never met someone quite like you before.
I love being in your company and being the centre of your focus for that time. I love the way you make me feel when you caress my skin and hold me close. I love how we just fit together without the need of trying.
But to say that I'm in love with you, that's a different story.
I may or may not. It's too soon to say. From experience, I fall fast but it takes a great time to know that I've fallen in love.
When I know not only in my heart but in my mind as well, then I will share this feelign with you. But I am hesitant. Our talks about love are short and I've been told not to expect you to repeat these words anytime soon. But then I think I say, "I don't love you, right?"

Smile at me again.

When you look at me and smile, it's as id the whole world stands still for our moment.
The moment when my chest tightens, butterflies flutter, my knees buckle and my mind starts to stutter.
All of these seem unpleasant to go through, but I would do it again for the rest of my life.
For you to see just only me and the stand still for our moment.
Our ever growing attraction for each other.

Enter D.

March 10th, 2011

A decent fellow. Chivalrous. Gentleman. My ecstasy.

When your eyes fall on me, I feel like clay. Mold-able, shapeless. Shape me to what you want. I'm here for your pleasure. Leisure. Our satisfaction.

I want you more. Your touch, your kiss, your attention. All of you.

I'm doing it again. Hard and fast. Falling. Falling hard and fast.