Thursday, July 22, 2010

I shouldn't have seen him again.

I feel cheap. Just another whore. Just another lay.

Why do I put myself through this? I know how it will all play out. I'm just there to feed his habit and unfortunately mine as well. As soon as he finds something new, funner, hotter I'll be forgotten . Never to be brought back into conversation.

You tell me to keep it on the down low. It's our secret. Don't worry; no one will know. It will ruin my reputation more than yours. To show my weakness of not being able to let go. To foolishly persuade myself into thinking that things will change. The situation and A will change.

He'll want me. All of me, and not the few parts that help him get himself off.

I need to tell him; I need to call it off. False hopes. I can't wait for you to see how wrong you were about me. By that time hopefully the essence that is me will not have faded into memories. If we were to keep this up, there just becomes more complications. I have worked tirelessly to reestablish our friendship. I cannot sit back and see that effort go to waste with casual sex.

Yes, you are amazing, but I value and respect what friendship we have. Sorry, I don't fuck friends.

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